Quiet as It's Kept, C is for Colorism | Part III

Part III

This series focuses on colorism as experienced by girls and women within the diaspora; specifically those whose locale is result of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade and Colonialism. 

In Part II of this series, we posed the question “who is affected by colorism?” We touched on words, behaviors and common practices that exemplify colorism as it is experienced by darker skinned Black girls and women. Now in Part III, we’re going to dive into the experience of lighter skinned Black girls and women. As a reminder and disclaimer this is not an attempt to provide a single diagnosis. The goal of this series is to provoke thought around the topic, with the hope that we as a community can minimize and even possibly rid ourselves of colorist practices and mentalities.

Colorism is defined as,  prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group. Therefore by definition, light skinned women cannot experience colorism. So then what is it that they experience? And, is it truly damaging? The answer is layered and very nuanced. On a large scale the social impact (in America) is in no way comparable to that of dark skinned women. There is no widespread exclusion, degradation, or negative connotation for that matter, associated with being light skinned. Jokes? Absolutely. But, as far as discrimination and maltreatment on a widespread social level, not so much. 

In my experience as a light skinned woman, the impact was more personal and internal. That's not to say that I'm the only light skinned person with the experience; but the point is there's not really a world where light skinned women are discriminated against, excluded, or mocked as a collective. I would even go as far as to say that the negative disposition towards light skinned women (and men for that matter), is rooted in the favor, adoration and preferential treatment that we receive when compared to our dark skinned counterparts; due solely to our phenotypical proximity to whiteness. The idea that light is some how better and right, because it is closer to white. This unspoken ideology, and the discrimination and favor that directly stems from it are arguably the reason that dark skinned Black people sometimes have disdain for light skinned Black people. In contrast the negative disposition towards dark skinned people, especially women, stems from the subconscious notion that they are not close enough to white because they are too Black, therefore they are inherently wrong. These contrasting ideas both stemming from the proximity to whiteness or lack there off, create an internal and often subconscious division between these two juxtaposing color ranges that fall under the umbrella of Blackness.

Does that mean that being told that you're not really Black because you're light skinned doesn't hurt? Absolutely not. There is a special kind of pain that comes from having your own people and your only people, telling you that you're not really one of them. For clarity, I said "your only people", because I'm not speaking on mixed race Black people being excluded from both of the groups that contribute to their identity(which is a whole separate very sad and unfortunate topic). I'm speaking on light skinned Black people that come from two Black families. Black people whose complexion, features and or hair type are a direct reflection of the sexual exploitation and abuse of our ancestors. A painful reality that carries a heavy weight of it's own. Being told that you're not really one of us, or you don't really belong here- when you have no where else you could possibly go is the reality that light skinned Black people often face. Even when it's presented as a joke, it still stings because you know that there are true feelings behind the joke. 

Some people believe that because the outside world is not as cruel to us, light skinned people have not truly experienced what it's like to be Black. Some people believe that the Black experience looks one way, as if it's some kind of one size fits all type of experience. Therefore if your experience doesn't match there's then you're some how not really Black, or you're not as Black as they are.

Being a light skinned Black woman, especially in my teenage and early adulthood; I was told more times than I could even begin to count, "I thought you were stuck-up and conceited before I met you, but you're really so nice." Even in middle school I knew I was being prejudged because of how I looked. I began to hate that I was the light skinned Black girl with "good" hair. I hated being asked what I was mixed with (once I realized why people were asking.) I hated that I was viewed as an acceptable or more palatable version of Black. It wasn't that I hated how I looked, truthfully how could I hate it when I had grown up hearing how pretty I was. I hated the reason people said I was pretty. I knew it was because I had light skin and long hair, and not because they actually thought I was pretty. 

As I got older I became more aware of what colorism was, even though I didn't know the name for it. I realized that people asking me "why is your sister so dark?" was a micro-aggression rooted in colorism, even if they didn't know it. I began to have friends that would say things like, "people are only nice to you guys (I'm a twin) because you're light skinned with good hair." They began to assert the idea that my life was some how easier because I was light skinned with "good hair." At first I was offended by the idea, because I knew a had a great personality and outstanding character. How dare they reduce my whole person down to something so shallow and superficial. Then, I realized that they were right. It wasn't that I wasn't deserving of the treatment I received. It was that people were all ready willing to treat me favorably before actually getting to know me, and that was based off of how I looked. There really was a privilege that came with being light skinned. Did my light skin completely prevent me from experiencing racism and out of group discrimination? Absolutely not. But, did it stop me from experiencing the more frequent and harsh realities of racism and out of group discrimination? I absolutely believe that it did and still does.

As I got older I began to develop a complex around being light skinned. It wasn't that I felt like I wasn't really Black. It was that I realized that many of my own people felt like I wasn't really Black, or that I wasn't Black enough. It didn't matter that I had two parents that could only identify as Black, or four grandparents and eight great grandparents that only identified as Black. It didn't matter that I was raised in a Black church singing Negro spirituals, grew up in a Black neighborhood, watched Roots, Rosewood and other Black historical movies as a child. Nor did it matter that my family had a set  of books about Black Greats on the hallway shelf in our home, or that I had all Black dolls, all Black social and extracurricular environments, attended all Black schools until middle school, and attended several summers of Freedom School and had internalized the chant "kugichagulia." It didn't matter that I had great grandparents that were some of my cities early Black business pioneers. It didn't matter that my grandfather was the first Black baby born in a hospital in the city. It didn't matter that my family moved out west during the first and second great migration with thousands and thousands of other Black families. It didn't matter that my phenotype was a direct reflection of the legacy of chattel slavery and the forced mixing of races that came from that institution. All that mattered was that I had light skin and long hair to boot. And that, was enough for people to determine that I wasn't really Black or that I wasn't quite Black enough.

So no, by definition light skinned women do not experience colorism. But, they do experience in group exclusion, discrimination and prejudice. Is it as harsh as what dark skin women experience? I would say no, it's not even close- but it depends on who you ask. It depends on a persons personal experience. That's why there is no single diagnosis for what colorism is or isn't. As previously stated, it is layered and it is nuanced. One doesn't have to relate to another persons experience with colorism to acknowledge and validate their feelings. Nor is it necessary to compare or dismiss another person's experience because you believe that yours is worse or that there's isn't really colorism and it's something else. True reconciliation and healing can only happen when we acknowledge each other's pain, validate each other's feelings and as a collective begin to truly embrace and affirm each other regardless of where we fall on the Blackness color spectrum.